"The greatest discovery that true friends make is that, they can grow together separately, without growing apart."

It's been 3 years.
I must have made a promise to myself to want to be posting this.

We've been friends for at least 3 years now.

The Assemblage.

Hmm so there's gonna be a barbeque coming.
Rightfully so.

That quote there that's the title?
It was originally by MatNoh, one of the big bros of The Assemblage uh.
The core is made up of at least around 12 to 13 people.
And the mutual friends of those people make up this big family called,
yyyeap you guessed it.
The Assemblage.

7 gentlemen and 5 ladies.
before that we were just...

7 guys and 5 girls.
at least this number. the people who are born between 1989 and 1990, i count it.

Many of us have grown up our own separate ways but I believe we're still connected.

Our common root is the strength within our unity.

I have something I want to share.

To you, my dear one who may not know this herself.
Somebody I have loved for a long time,
and also along with the other people I love too.

Being in love, and loving somebody, are two different things.

one is more intense, the other is...something more platonic.

here i am, where i but pool in my innermost feelings.....

betrayal. it's still only early in the morning, subuh time, now.
my posts don't have timestamps so i'll tell you.

i had a dream about it two nights in a row.
the same theme, but different storyline.

i'm fighting my fears and inner pain just typing this.

my heart inside is crying.
but my mind and spirit is trying to console it.

in reality, this could never happen.
but the thing that my inner self is trying to tell me....
even i don't know yet.

i guess for now i should relax.

but God, it seems so timely. cuz i made a reality check.
true enough. something of relation to the theme happened.
my heart said it has had enough.
cuz the moment i got those news, i felt it turn away in silence.
not disbelief and pain. it's had enough of that.

i dreamt that, two people among those i have trusted and believed in, the only few i ever truly had, betrayed me in a way. in those two separate dreams of course.

yet i was still my usual self. my guess is i was still stubbornly trying to stay strong.

i feel beaten up, dibelasah, in malay.

God, stay with me....Please....

it's time to be professional.
it's time to be scientific.

somebody asked me, how to train wings.


i used to have wings.
God took them away from me.

Well, I just have to work back at it.

anyway.
other than flying,
i wanna be able to do splits too.
like my elder brother.
flexibility is an important thing in sports.

if i'm gonna be fit, i gotta be flexible.

now...i gotta stop slacking,
and watch what i eat.
nutrition and timing.
crucial.

woohoo. let's go.
thursday training with harith.

-That's What Friends Are For.-

dedicated to the new friends i've made, from Bogor, Indonesia.


And I
Never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try to feel the way we do today
And than if you can't remember.....


Keep smilin'
Keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me
for sure
that's what friends are for


For Good Times And bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well you came in lovin' me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you....


Ohhh and then
For the times when we're apart
Well just close your eyes and know
These words are comming from my heart
And then if you can't remember....Ohhhhh

Keep smilin'
Keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me
for sure
that's what friends are for....

since when were the songs on my blog in shuffle?
the usual songs aren't there. gonna check it out later, when i'm free.

now,
OMGWTFIMSOBUSY!!



quick one here before i put my foot down on the pedal.


so, the moment i woke up,
some awesome hormone of strength and energy just made its way into my veins.
i dismantled one bed all by myself within 5 minutes.

cool or what! haha!

earlier this morning i got news that lessons were cancelled.
the lab test result i got zul to read for me, so i was effectively free for the entire day.
so, i went to meet the rest at changi airport. I reached there first o.O
quite early, reached there at 9.15. The exchange students reached at 10.
so we had some exchanges of words and salaams, and i let Audi listen to the short sweet guitar solo i composed last night.

other than that, that's about it.
got home, got ready, went out to almukminin for prayers and met Nabil and friends.

after that, KELEPEK!
fall asleep at home for 1 hour.

now, it's time to get dirty.

why do i feel like this is all temporary...?
why do i feel the foreboding dread that this is going to be short-lived..?

yes, all things end, i know.
woah. finally finished refurbishing the house.
left with installing the stuff only.


okay.
all things end, i know.
but it's sad that something so good should end so quickly.

i want to experience this for a very long time.
because it is what gives meaning to my life.
it is what that makes me want to be a better person, day after day.
it is what that makes me want to be strong all the time.
it gives me reason, it gives me purpose.
a strong one, not just one where one lives for oneself.

it is love, without a doubt.

God, please keep this coming.
I want to be a good person.
Give me all the opportunities i can have,
and keep my heart in Your Grace,
let me be there to do what I know I must do.
You alone know best what I need.
But grant me the opportunity.
Let me look upon my shadow with a smiling face.

"there's more to it than meets the lie."


anyway.
went to train with the silatmates today.
just the first part, warmup, i just ran and all.
go home never eat properly, just drank h20 to rejuice.
then chatted with my lovely little good friend.
then fell asleep. for 2 hours but what seemed like 5.

then i dreamt of FOOD. FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD.
was actually shopping at some sort of pasar malam with my "best friend."
the food there was awesome. of course it's things i can only dream of.
the foods were all got to do with sandwiches and ice-cream. really.
amongst the variety were even the combination of both ice-cream nad sandwich.

so i woke up, just nice my sister was ordering food downstairs.
i ordered beef mui fan cuz my stomach ordered me to.

now, i'm still craving things like hoddog waffles and BEN&JERRY'S!
i'm gonna go downstairs and pig out on one of those later.



afterthought.

there's more to it than meets the lies.
when you lied to me, i was sure as bloody hell,
that many other things would have been a lie as well.
because one lie will require many other lies to cover up for it.
don't even begin to think of the amount that i put as "many".
it could be in the hundreds.

but still, i readily forgave you.
wouldn't you do the same for me..?